Former Gears of War and Unreal Tournament designer Cliff Bleszinski has opened up about his struggle with alcoholism and how it’s impacted his life and career in game development to this point, as he eyes a possible return to making games. Bleszinski’s currently four months sober after suffering a drinking-related seizure in March this year.
It’s well worth reading the account the developer’s given of his lengthy battle with alcohol addiction in an interview with Brian Crecente for 80 Level, which he traces back to his time working on Unreal Tournament in the early 2000s. “The Gears of War trilogy was largely developed hungover by me,” Bleszinski said. “I was, at that point, a functioning alcoholic.” He added that he subsequently became “a non-functioning alcoholic”.
“You go to your GDCs, you go to your E3s, you have three nights in a row of going to parties, or wine dinner with your partners and then you have hotel lobby bars,” the developer recalled, alluding to an industry drinking culture that didn’t help, though he accepts personal responsibility for his addiction. “My tolerance was so high that other developers would have a few and I would get all of this confidential information and remember it. It was almost like my superpower for a while.”
Naturally, the failure of shooter LawBreakers and Boss Key Productions, the studio he co-founded with Arjan Brussee to make it, hit Bleszinski very hard. The developer’s got a written list of things he believes went wrong with it in hindsight, including opting against bringing on fellow Gears veteran Rod Fergusson as a co-founder. All in all, the result was a “snowball of failure” which “tripped so Concord could faceplant”. “I’ll never forget that day when I had to stand in front of the company for an emergency meeting and tell them that all of this just isn’t working,” Bleszinski recalled. “It was one of the hardest days of my life.”
Following Boss Key’s closure, the developer “basically got to the point where [he] didn’t have anything to get out of bed for”. Thankfully, he’s now doing better, and is considering a full-time return to making games. Though, he’s clear he won’t be making a PvP game. “Good luck to anyone in that space,” he said. “I’m more of a fan of PvE these days. Horde mode saved Gears 2, and I believe that space is evergreen because players just want to hop online with friends and shoot some stuff, no frills, no questions asked.”
Overall, it’s nice to hear Bleszinski’s been able to get the help he needs to turn a corner in terms of his addiction, and here’s hoping that whether or not he does opt to delve back into games, he’s able to keep on living a healthy life.
